Holding the Last Dream

The dreams are evolving
and becoming more vivid.
They are the only times I have
with you, yet
I never know if or when
you’ll appear.

I ran toward you.
Velvet sleep contrasted
with my pounding dream-heart.
I saw you getting into
a car. It was you.
You, with your suit, tie, hat
and glasses..
I ran with all of my strength.
and discovered a face that was not yours.
A stranger looked at me,
questioning my urgent presence. Tears fell in the night
and upon waking.
The following night,
you were physically near,
but emotionally distant.
As if you remembered, but
didn’t want to get too close.
You embraced me quickly
and disappeared into
meaningless dream-matter.
I hold onto the last dream.
I hold it as I held you.
I relive it everyday and it
comforts me.
“Daddy, Daddy, are you real?”
Our tightly bound hug lingered,
and I felt your scratchy cheek
against my face.
You wore your usual attire.
“Yes, I am real.”
And you are.
In Heaven, you are real.

Janet Brice Parker, 2004